If your white elephant party will include some lonely folks, you might show a little compassion and bring an imaginary friend. They make perfect scapegoats and they’re always around to comfort and console. Imaginary friends are great listeners who aren’t capable of judging and they’ll never betray or gossip.
Imaginary friends are available on Amazon (they sell everything) and come with their own personality, though you can customize it if you prefer. The customer reviews for these are hilarious.