If you enjoy making other people toil endlessly for meager rewards, then perhaps a gold panning kit would be a good white elephant gift. There’s literally gold all around us, just waiting to be claimed. There are even trace amounts of gold dust in the bags of play sand from Home Depot. The big roadblock to cashing in on all this gold is how to extract it efficiently and in a meaningful quantity. Perhaps the answer is by randomly sifting through small piles of dirt by hand, one scoop at a time? It’s worked before. You might consider pairing this gift with a time machine.

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